It is a tricky thing and it has taken a long time for me to learn this. When I see a film or a play and it could have been marvelous, but wasn’t, my knee-jerk reaction is to understand why. And I used to launch into my musings once the film/play had ended in hopes of getting another point of view. But I’ve learned to hold back these days unless I get a clear go ahead. I’ve friends who are inherently uncritical (and I love that about them) and I realize that I’ve dumped on their positive experience. While I’m trying to understand “why,” they are experiencing afterglow. I’ve had to learn that the world does not always require my opinion on things. There’s a time and company for expressing frustration. I have to remember that the point of any activity requires my awareness of the experience of others.
"I’ve had to learn that the world does not always require my opinion on things."
This is a hard lesson in any context, but on the Internet, particularly!
I had this experience recently IRL though because I went and saw the new Sondheim that was finished and produced after his death. I didn't love it. I wanted to love it so bad and didn't. I have my one theatre buddy who, once he saw it and broached the topic of not loving it, I was able to do that kind of deep dive "why" discussion with, which I was glad to do. But probably other people would bring other emotional context to it and feel differently, so I didn't want to prime them to be unhappy.
Some folks can’t distinguish between a passionate critique for the purpose of better understanding, and simple negativity. Often it isn’t so much that I completely disliked something but a quest to know where it went wrong. So yes… time and place. Learning to withhold my point of view is a good thing. And also learning to enjoy others’ pleasure vicariously.
It is a tricky thing and it has taken a long time for me to learn this. When I see a film or a play and it could have been marvelous, but wasn’t, my knee-jerk reaction is to understand why. And I used to launch into my musings once the film/play had ended in hopes of getting another point of view. But I’ve learned to hold back these days unless I get a clear go ahead. I’ve friends who are inherently uncritical (and I love that about them) and I realize that I’ve dumped on their positive experience. While I’m trying to understand “why,” they are experiencing afterglow. I’ve had to learn that the world does not always require my opinion on things. There’s a time and company for expressing frustration. I have to remember that the point of any activity requires my awareness of the experience of others.
"I’ve had to learn that the world does not always require my opinion on things."
This is a hard lesson in any context, but on the Internet, particularly!
I had this experience recently IRL though because I went and saw the new Sondheim that was finished and produced after his death. I didn't love it. I wanted to love it so bad and didn't. I have my one theatre buddy who, once he saw it and broached the topic of not loving it, I was able to do that kind of deep dive "why" discussion with, which I was glad to do. But probably other people would bring other emotional context to it and feel differently, so I didn't want to prime them to be unhappy.
Some folks can’t distinguish between a passionate critique for the purpose of better understanding, and simple negativity. Often it isn’t so much that I completely disliked something but a quest to know where it went wrong. So yes… time and place. Learning to withhold my point of view is a good thing. And also learning to enjoy others’ pleasure vicariously.
Yes, that last thing...loving that someone loves something!