Yucking someone's yum.
The Internet giveth and it taketh away
Don’t yuck my yum; I won’t yuck yours.
Recently I ran across a post by a friend that said that sharing her love of Beyoncé’s new album, Cowboy Carter, seemed to bring some folks out of lurker status, just to tell her that they hated it. Someone in her comments said that the album wasn’t her cup of tea, and that some people were making sure to shame her for it.
Now, I spent a good portion of my most recent podcast episode waxing rhapsodic about the album, and just about being a longtime fan of Beyoncé…and on a higher level, what being a fan means for me.
It means that, for me, I don’t find joy in nitpicking or stack-ranking the work of someone I love. I don’t approach every new work of someone or something I love with trepidation, wondering “will I like it?” I’m pretty confident I will like it. When I love someone or something, I love it in the context of all the good feelings that person or thing has ever given me. You start something out with the Star Wars theme, and I am primed to be entertained.
Do I have favorites? Yes. Do I tell people…hey, if Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Schitt’s Creek don’t grab you at first, give it at least into Season 2 because that’s when those shows become runaway trains of gloriousness. Or hey, if you don’t love Kate Bush’s vocalizing at the high end of her range so much in her first couple of albums, you may want to start with her works from The Dreaming on forward and come back to her older stuff later, so you can appreciate everything she’s done, since she was literally 15.
On the flip side, I’m definitely in that “If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all” camp when it comes to sharing reviews. And ESPECIALLY, if I do feel compelled to share dislike for something, I’m not going to go find a post from someone liking it and use their comment section to share my view. Like. Why, tho?
The Internet, however, is a place that thrives in extremes. And that convinces us all that our opinions are both correct and necessary. Last I checked, though, no one was paying me to do critiques and reviews. I get to choose what I share about, and I get to decide that I’m much more inclined to share what I love than what I hate.
I appreciate the “don’t yuck my yum” phrase, and I try to abide by it when it comes to all things subjective. Back in the day it was not unheard of for community members to not like someone chosen as a speaker, or a panel focus, or a Voice of the Year, or a contributor for something BlogHer did. And I had a phrase I said a lot in those days: There is a difference between something being unjustified, and something simply not being your cuppa tea. And not everything has to be your cuppa tea. The only place you get to ensure is 100% your cuppa tea is in your own abode and in your own mind. (Although, if you live with other people, good luck with that too.)
Let me head off some pedantry at the pass and say, this is different than not pushing back on disinformation or not standing up and calling out bigotry or even if someone has well and truly asked for debate and alternate viewpoints on their opinion. but I guarantee you most people posting about their love of Cowboy Carter are not out here on Beyoncé’s Internet saying, “Now…come at me bro and tell me all the reasons you hate it.”
Even if #BigAlgorithm rewards it, I say: Don’t yuck my yum. I won’t yuck yours.
Now, come at me bro…tell me all the reasons you disagree 😹
What else is going on?
Optionality
Here’s the latest we’ve been up to with Optionality:
If you want somewhere to check in and share how your Q1 went (good or bad) and maybe put a stake in the ground for what you hope to do in Q2, our Q1 check-in open thread is the place.
Jory wrote a piece about how SXSW prompted her to feel FOMO for a past life she doesn’t even really want anymore, and that seemed to resonate.
Everybody seems to agree that hybrid work is here to stay, and that how you manage it is the key to making it successful and productive for the long term. Far fewer people seem to address how to do that tactically. I did an old-fashioned sign post newsletter to point you to 7 people focused on exactly this. (It’s a post for Premium members, but there is quite a lengthy free preview.)
Finally, we had our first guest newsletter about “strengths-forward management” (BTW, let me know if you’re interested in contributing) from
and it comes with a link to an assessment of your strengths within the SHIFT framework she has created. I took mine and I have to say, it tracked. If you come back and tell me what was identified as your biggest strength, I’ll tell you mine :)
So, one more time with the pitch: We’re planning to end our early adopter Premium Membership price soon, so if you’ve been toying with the idea of upgrading or subscribing for all the benefits of premium membership at the low low price of $299/year, now’s the time. We have our monthly live Office Hours for premium members coming this coming Wednesday, so it’s perfect timing to join and get introduced to people live right away!
That’s it for today. Until next time, please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on any or all of the above. This is basically my blog now! And as always, I appreciate a share of this newsletter or my podcast.
If I can help you break through the things that keep you stuck (or if you are intrigued by the idea of securing my fractional leadership for your initiative), set up your first introductory 30-minute consult for free by booking it in my Calendly. And you can always check out my new LinkedIn Learning Course, Telling Stories That Stick, a 57-minute course on crafting your stories for different audiences (media, investors, prospects, hiring managers) and ensuring those stories stick…and convey exactly what you hope to convey.
Thanks for reading!
-E
It is a tricky thing and it has taken a long time for me to learn this. When I see a film or a play and it could have been marvelous, but wasn’t, my knee-jerk reaction is to understand why. And I used to launch into my musings once the film/play had ended in hopes of getting another point of view. But I’ve learned to hold back these days unless I get a clear go ahead. I’ve friends who are inherently uncritical (and I love that about them) and I realize that I’ve dumped on their positive experience. While I’m trying to understand “why,” they are experiencing afterglow. I’ve had to learn that the world does not always require my opinion on things. There’s a time and company for expressing frustration. I have to remember that the point of any activity requires my awareness of the experience of others.