Apr 26, 2022·edited Apr 26, 2022Liked by Elisa Camahort Page
I had a recent experience with a periodontist's assistant. While my mouth was numbed up she began defending the attack on the capitol. It was incredibly uncomfortable, and I will never return to the doctor (he was also terrible with pain management) - but oddly it is probably the cluelessly aggressive assistant that I think of rather than the moments of excruciating pain. It is disturbing that some can rationalize awful behavior if it advances their own agenda. There is something key missing in their moral makeup despite their frequent insistence that they are the moral high ground.
Next week I am going to speak at a meeting of the Glendale City Council as a concerned citizen. A number of teachers are under attack for teaching history and social studies with an awareness of other perspectives - African American, Native American, LGBT... per the state curriculum, but the right wing extremists have been publishing home addresses as a tool of intimidation because apparently they do not think they have a case through honest means. It is very upsetting to hear of teachers and their families being put in harm's way for caring enough to do their job right. Some of our council members have been to hesitant to call the hate out for what it is. That needs to change.
Thanks for your voice. The most effective way for hate to succeed is for good people to remain quiet. It is good to remember that there are more sensible people than not, despite the volume that the ignorant produce.
My experience along those lines was with a barber in Fremont back in the late 60s. While I was in the chair getting the usual cut (in my pre-bald days), a teenager came in and sat down to wait. He had long hair which was the fashion for all teens then. Immediately the barber began berating him about the length of the hair and that he didn't want to cut it. The boy sat quietly, taking the abuse, while the barber upped his rhetoric, labelling him as "sissie", "homo", etc. When I got out of the chair, all I said was, "Why don't you ease up on the kid?". The barber grumbled something I didn't catch. I was outraged, but didn't say more, and when I left the kid was still there. I swore that I would never go to a barber again - several of them I'd patronized had the same attitudes about the long-haired kids. So, for several years, my wife suffered under my stance, as she became my unwilling barber. I thought she did great work, but she didn't like doing it.
I appreciate your position and hope that you find a dentist who is more human. I also miss getting to see you! Take care.
(I'm really sorry that you had to experience that. Any medical professional that feels it's OK to display extreme political or social messaging, whether conservative or liberal, is not a medical professional I would trust.)
I realized years ago that there was no way that I could boycott every company or organization that gave money to organizations or politicians that weren't aligned with my beliefs. I couldn't boycott every union busting company, those that paid low wages/didn't offer benefits, or those that didn't make any real effort toward DEI. It wouldn't take much to find something I was opposed to in the majority of major companies or organizations. I pick and chose based on the most extreme situations or where I'd had extremely good or extremely bad experiences.
Jump to 2016 when we moved to small town, conservative Florida - willingly. We knew we were outnumbered and surrounded by the conservative, the under-educated, the low information voters, the racists, and the bigots. But that was nothing new, we've always been surrounded by them or by subsets of them. (Though honestly, I think if we had known how bad the 45* years would be and how bad it still is, we likely would have bought a house elsewhere...hindsight etc.)
Being surrounded on EVERY front by bigotry, hatred, extremist behavior, and beliefs is exhausting and choosing who to give dollars to or not give dollars to is frustrating every single day.
Example: Height of the pandemic, there were three grocery options for me: 1. Small chain grocery store that began offering home delivery and curbside pick up but did not believe in masking, had grey meat, and bad produce, and also the highest prices. 2. Small chain grocery store that never offered home deliver or curbside, had better products, and decent prices but did not believe in masking. 3. Walmart which had curbside pickup, decent products, decent prices, and attempted to enforce masking policies (in a community that didn't believe in Covid.) I chose Walmart most often and occasionally chose the higher priced/bad quality/ant-maskers who offered delivery and curbside. Is Walmart a company I "support" - no, but they were the best option and are still a good option for me.
And now Kroger has stepped up to offer delivery, great prices, great products, and their delivery drivers STILL mask. They also have damn Elaine Chao on the BOD. Walmart or Kroger? What's the best choice between those?
Let's even pretend that I will always make the 45 minute trek to town rather than do a quick pickup or delivery... Publix, Winn Dixie and Whole Foods are my primary options. All of those have a history of problematic behavior, too. Aldi and TJ's are options but they don't have everything we need and face it, nobody wants to go to a TJ's parking lot if they can avoid it.
This is EXHAUSTING.
And it is annoying to know that any shop I walk into in the town I live in is likely run and/or staffed by conservatives who probably voted for 45* and would likely vote for him again whether they like him or not. I can't avoid all of my neighbors who are conservative - or even the Q and MAGAs who are extreme. I can avoid those who have demonstrated they don't care who they offend with extreme political or social messaging in their establishments or on their social media channels.
Like the local small business that makes pizza in this little town. They have had 45* signs in their window since 2016. They had 45* propaganda printed on the bottom of their receipts. They held mask burning parties in the height of the pandemic. We began our boycott of that restaurant not long after we moved here in 2016, when we saw the messaging on our receipt. Nope. That's extreme behavior. They don't get my dollars.
I also stopped going to the local coffee roaster because they used a thin blue line flag in their social media promos. Didn't they know it would be offensive to some of their customers - or did they not care - or did they know and felt emboldened to offend a customer? Regardless, they no longer get my money even if I end up buying beans or ground coffee from Walmart or Sam's more often than at another roaster. Hell. Exhausting. It is exhausting.
And the stories I could tell about trying to hire a lawn service or handyperson or contractor. I look at their social media presence and decide ... are they JUST conservative or they extremists? What's my line in the sand? It varies, because it has to. That's my life here.
(And this should be a post because it FAR exceeds that 3 paragraph rule. Oops.)
First, props on an A+ headline! Second, I would absolutely have a negative visceral reaction to that t-shirt. Because it is offensive. It would absolutely ding my comfort and trust in a dentist, especially. I really don't like how he resisted your preferences on YOUR treatment, either.
We have a real problem with authoritative health providers versus collaborative, and it is a real, big, sometimes fatal problem. But I digress.
Anyway, like you, I built my career (sometimes in politics) with my platform out front and center. Like you, I decided if this was a turnoff, so be it. It probably would not work out long run for real reasons anyway. For example, my liberal (nonwhite) boss is good with inclusive images in ads, respects respectful language, took COVID protocols seriously, etc. etc. This stuff would be an issue with most of the conservatives around here.
That said, I'm the minority around here, and I often no longer feel safe in my community because it is real villager with pitchforks around here. Not real civilized.
FWIW, I respect your decision to move on.
Great topic.
Really good to read after my Big Fat Ugly Police Altercation today. Sane people being sane and ethical. Thank you.
The shirt and slogan that absolutely turns me off and seems to increase in popularity by the day is Joe and the Ho must go. I see it in places with children worn by folks who are probably railing about the indecency of sex ed. I just... ugh. And yes, I make choices about where I choose to spend money based on things like that.
I had a recent experience with a periodontist's assistant. While my mouth was numbed up she began defending the attack on the capitol. It was incredibly uncomfortable, and I will never return to the doctor (he was also terrible with pain management) - but oddly it is probably the cluelessly aggressive assistant that I think of rather than the moments of excruciating pain. It is disturbing that some can rationalize awful behavior if it advances their own agenda. There is something key missing in their moral makeup despite their frequent insistence that they are the moral high ground.
Next week I am going to speak at a meeting of the Glendale City Council as a concerned citizen. A number of teachers are under attack for teaching history and social studies with an awareness of other perspectives - African American, Native American, LGBT... per the state curriculum, but the right wing extremists have been publishing home addresses as a tool of intimidation because apparently they do not think they have a case through honest means. It is very upsetting to hear of teachers and their families being put in harm's way for caring enough to do their job right. Some of our council members have been to hesitant to call the hate out for what it is. That needs to change.
Thanks for your voice. The most effective way for hate to succeed is for good people to remain quiet. It is good to remember that there are more sensible people than not, despite the volume that the ignorant produce.
My experience along those lines was with a barber in Fremont back in the late 60s. While I was in the chair getting the usual cut (in my pre-bald days), a teenager came in and sat down to wait. He had long hair which was the fashion for all teens then. Immediately the barber began berating him about the length of the hair and that he didn't want to cut it. The boy sat quietly, taking the abuse, while the barber upped his rhetoric, labelling him as "sissie", "homo", etc. When I got out of the chair, all I said was, "Why don't you ease up on the kid?". The barber grumbled something I didn't catch. I was outraged, but didn't say more, and when I left the kid was still there. I swore that I would never go to a barber again - several of them I'd patronized had the same attitudes about the long-haired kids. So, for several years, my wife suffered under my stance, as she became my unwilling barber. I thought she did great work, but she didn't like doing it.
I appreciate your position and hope that you find a dentist who is more human. I also miss getting to see you! Take care.
(I'm really sorry that you had to experience that. Any medical professional that feels it's OK to display extreme political or social messaging, whether conservative or liberal, is not a medical professional I would trust.)
I realized years ago that there was no way that I could boycott every company or organization that gave money to organizations or politicians that weren't aligned with my beliefs. I couldn't boycott every union busting company, those that paid low wages/didn't offer benefits, or those that didn't make any real effort toward DEI. It wouldn't take much to find something I was opposed to in the majority of major companies or organizations. I pick and chose based on the most extreme situations or where I'd had extremely good or extremely bad experiences.
Jump to 2016 when we moved to small town, conservative Florida - willingly. We knew we were outnumbered and surrounded by the conservative, the under-educated, the low information voters, the racists, and the bigots. But that was nothing new, we've always been surrounded by them or by subsets of them. (Though honestly, I think if we had known how bad the 45* years would be and how bad it still is, we likely would have bought a house elsewhere...hindsight etc.)
Being surrounded on EVERY front by bigotry, hatred, extremist behavior, and beliefs is exhausting and choosing who to give dollars to or not give dollars to is frustrating every single day.
Example: Height of the pandemic, there were three grocery options for me: 1. Small chain grocery store that began offering home delivery and curbside pick up but did not believe in masking, had grey meat, and bad produce, and also the highest prices. 2. Small chain grocery store that never offered home deliver or curbside, had better products, and decent prices but did not believe in masking. 3. Walmart which had curbside pickup, decent products, decent prices, and attempted to enforce masking policies (in a community that didn't believe in Covid.) I chose Walmart most often and occasionally chose the higher priced/bad quality/ant-maskers who offered delivery and curbside. Is Walmart a company I "support" - no, but they were the best option and are still a good option for me.
And now Kroger has stepped up to offer delivery, great prices, great products, and their delivery drivers STILL mask. They also have damn Elaine Chao on the BOD. Walmart or Kroger? What's the best choice between those?
Let's even pretend that I will always make the 45 minute trek to town rather than do a quick pickup or delivery... Publix, Winn Dixie and Whole Foods are my primary options. All of those have a history of problematic behavior, too. Aldi and TJ's are options but they don't have everything we need and face it, nobody wants to go to a TJ's parking lot if they can avoid it.
This is EXHAUSTING.
And it is annoying to know that any shop I walk into in the town I live in is likely run and/or staffed by conservatives who probably voted for 45* and would likely vote for him again whether they like him or not. I can't avoid all of my neighbors who are conservative - or even the Q and MAGAs who are extreme. I can avoid those who have demonstrated they don't care who they offend with extreme political or social messaging in their establishments or on their social media channels.
Like the local small business that makes pizza in this little town. They have had 45* signs in their window since 2016. They had 45* propaganda printed on the bottom of their receipts. They held mask burning parties in the height of the pandemic. We began our boycott of that restaurant not long after we moved here in 2016, when we saw the messaging on our receipt. Nope. That's extreme behavior. They don't get my dollars.
I also stopped going to the local coffee roaster because they used a thin blue line flag in their social media promos. Didn't they know it would be offensive to some of their customers - or did they not care - or did they know and felt emboldened to offend a customer? Regardless, they no longer get my money even if I end up buying beans or ground coffee from Walmart or Sam's more often than at another roaster. Hell. Exhausting. It is exhausting.
And the stories I could tell about trying to hire a lawn service or handyperson or contractor. I look at their social media presence and decide ... are they JUST conservative or they extremists? What's my line in the sand? It varies, because it has to. That's my life here.
(And this should be a post because it FAR exceeds that 3 paragraph rule. Oops.)
First, props on an A+ headline! Second, I would absolutely have a negative visceral reaction to that t-shirt. Because it is offensive. It would absolutely ding my comfort and trust in a dentist, especially. I really don't like how he resisted your preferences on YOUR treatment, either.
We have a real problem with authoritative health providers versus collaborative, and it is a real, big, sometimes fatal problem. But I digress.
Anyway, like you, I built my career (sometimes in politics) with my platform out front and center. Like you, I decided if this was a turnoff, so be it. It probably would not work out long run for real reasons anyway. For example, my liberal (nonwhite) boss is good with inclusive images in ads, respects respectful language, took COVID protocols seriously, etc. etc. This stuff would be an issue with most of the conservatives around here.
That said, I'm the minority around here, and I often no longer feel safe in my community because it is real villager with pitchforks around here. Not real civilized.
FWIW, I respect your decision to move on.
Great topic.
Really good to read after my Big Fat Ugly Police Altercation today. Sane people being sane and ethical. Thank you.
The shirt and slogan that absolutely turns me off and seems to increase in popularity by the day is Joe and the Ho must go. I see it in places with children worn by folks who are probably railing about the indecency of sex ed. I just... ugh. And yes, I make choices about where I choose to spend money based on things like that.