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Menopause... there is no 'pause' in it. That I can tell you. It's thought that in the "olden" days, women didn't live long enough to enter menopause so no one talked about it or studied it or cared. All the grandmothers over 50 - they kept their mouths shut. Why? Because you didn't talk about that kind of personal issue - with anyone!

I've been in post-menopause for a long, long time. I still have hot flashes, I have mood swings, I get tired more easily. But I also know it can be freeing. It can open one's eyes to a world she was not allowed to see before - the world of, I don't give a damn what you think, for god's sake! Just give me the remote or I'll break your fingers!

Now, not everyone experiences it like that. So, I am no poster girl for it. I'm just saying, you are right on when you say we become bolder and louder and more like Maxine (who says, "Here's a tip as you get older - never wear a hearing aid because if you do, people expect you to listen to them.") I like to think we finally realize we don't have anything to lose. Seriously - we can be who we were meant to be or we can struggle trying to be someone else, as we've done most of our lives. I choose the former.

I have a refrigerator magnet that says, "Today's Menu: Two Choices. Take it or Leave it." And I mean it... just saying. I'll shut up now.

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Never shut up, Yvonne :)

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I am post-menopausal. Peri-menopause took forever because I kept going like 8 months without a period and then GAWOOSH, a huge one (including, memorably, in the audience of a talk at BlogHer Business). I finally stopped having periods at 56. But in the 7 or 8 years of peri-menopause, my most annoying symptom was NOT FEELING LIKE MYSELF. I talked to my doc and she said many women say this to her.

I lost all my initiative. I stopped caring. I was fine to spend evenings just sitting in a chair, nursing a couple glasses of red wine, snacking and watching stupid things on my laptop. Even when I got up the energy to go do things, I had no passionate connection to any of them.

It took several years and several doctors to first get Hormone Replacement approved and then to get it dialed in dosage-wise. And more recently, a doc became concerned at the high level of HRT I was on and yanked it back, leaving me as sweaty and awake at night as ever, and again falling into apathy. Now I have a new doc who has bumped it up somewhat.

My sis, at age 74, told me she still has hot flashes and night sweats. Gah. I'm super happy to live in a cold place now. The other morning I was walking around at 8 am when it was 35 degrees in a cotton t-shirt. I was fine.

Thanks for bringing up this topic, Elisa. It's still not very discussed and it's a life-changer.

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That's so interesting what you say about no passionate connection and losing initiative. I was kind of interpreting that similar feeling in myself to just be low-grade depression, which I wouldn't necessarily say started with perimenopause. Maybe intensified by it though?

And I bring it up for exactly the reason you say...I think it has tremendous impact on many of us, and we aren't expecting it!

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