I never liked the term soft skills either because it implies that life skills are gendered and in this case female skills and so society lets men off the hook and says they can just ignore them…as if they are incapable.
Yes we socialize boys and men very differently than girls and women…slowly it is changing, year by year.
Regardless, men are perfectly capable of learning how to read other people, see and hear social cues, analyze social interactions, and respond.
If the employee (of any gender) is neurodiverse, it might take teaching them in a different way, but everyone is capable.
Whether we quietly take an employee aside and explain it, or we send them to a social communications class…employers should start by assuming competency and work from there.
Of course you're 100% right about the gendered aspect. I felt like if I started down that path, this would become a novella. But the foundational point you and I share is that so-called soft skills are NOT innate; they CAN be taught and trained. And I'll just add that the reasons some women who become bosses are so reviled by both men and women who work for them is that the *expectations* for them as leaders are in direct conflict with how they were probably recognized and tangibly rewarded when going up the ladder.
100% agree. 100,000 years of misogyny is deep in our culture and it’s going to take more than a few years to change it. :)
About renaming it…have you ever read Tom Peters? He has always discussed empathy and communications, and he’d love calling the skill set being a Full Stack Leader
This is golden! Now that more research has been done to show how bottom-line results can be achieved with leaders who are strong in "soft skills"we need to stop calling them soft. I much prefer this term and love the stack you've built. I wonder where self-awareness calls in this stack? Based on my research for my new book, The Empathy Dilemma, this aspect of leadership savvy is so important to stack the other skills on top of. But maybe it falls within your stack somewhere? Awareness os the first step - and is often linked with humility and a growth mindset.
Oh! I love this. This is also a core tenet of our friend Terri Givens's "Radical Empathy"...starting with yourself and self-awareness. And it probably signifies that that is an element of leadership I need to work on that I didn't think of it! I think it's its own layer of the stack, and yes, linked with humility for sure. I think "growth mindset" 9and mindsets in general) is a little squishy to be a skill in the stack...how would you define that more tangibly? (I should know this, given I just read Guy's book Think Remarkable and Growth is the first section.
That was an excellent overview of what is required of an effective leader. I wish they'd teach this in high school, or even younger! Imagine a world in which six year olds are learning the basics of this within their play?! Obviously that is when some kids are naturally figuring this stuff out, but I can't help but wonder how it would impact children's lives to intentionally teach them the building blocks of healthy leadership at a young age.
What a fascinating idea...you're so right that some of this is being taught (or at least learned) but I'm not sure it's being consciously positioned as tools for leadership.
I don't think it is unfortunately. But it should be something that we as a society should aspire to teach (perhaps leaning heavily into the empathy part of the equation).
I never liked the term soft skills either because it implies that life skills are gendered and in this case female skills and so society lets men off the hook and says they can just ignore them…as if they are incapable.
Yes we socialize boys and men very differently than girls and women…slowly it is changing, year by year.
Regardless, men are perfectly capable of learning how to read other people, see and hear social cues, analyze social interactions, and respond.
If the employee (of any gender) is neurodiverse, it might take teaching them in a different way, but everyone is capable.
Whether we quietly take an employee aside and explain it, or we send them to a social communications class…employers should start by assuming competency and work from there.
Of course you're 100% right about the gendered aspect. I felt like if I started down that path, this would become a novella. But the foundational point you and I share is that so-called soft skills are NOT innate; they CAN be taught and trained. And I'll just add that the reasons some women who become bosses are so reviled by both men and women who work for them is that the *expectations* for them as leaders are in direct conflict with how they were probably recognized and tangibly rewarded when going up the ladder.
100% agree. 100,000 years of misogyny is deep in our culture and it’s going to take more than a few years to change it. :)
About renaming it…have you ever read Tom Peters? He has always discussed empathy and communications, and he’d love calling the skill set being a Full Stack Leader
I've heard of him but never actually read him that I recall. I take it you think I should change that? :)
This is golden! Now that more research has been done to show how bottom-line results can be achieved with leaders who are strong in "soft skills"we need to stop calling them soft. I much prefer this term and love the stack you've built. I wonder where self-awareness calls in this stack? Based on my research for my new book, The Empathy Dilemma, this aspect of leadership savvy is so important to stack the other skills on top of. But maybe it falls within your stack somewhere? Awareness os the first step - and is often linked with humility and a growth mindset.
Oh! I love this. This is also a core tenet of our friend Terri Givens's "Radical Empathy"...starting with yourself and self-awareness. And it probably signifies that that is an element of leadership I need to work on that I didn't think of it! I think it's its own layer of the stack, and yes, linked with humility for sure. I think "growth mindset" 9and mindsets in general) is a little squishy to be a skill in the stack...how would you define that more tangibly? (I should know this, given I just read Guy's book Think Remarkable and Growth is the first section.
Perhaps they should be called the "golden skills" in that they are rare, valuable, and life changing for all who can access them.
That was an excellent overview of what is required of an effective leader. I wish they'd teach this in high school, or even younger! Imagine a world in which six year olds are learning the basics of this within their play?! Obviously that is when some kids are naturally figuring this stuff out, but I can't help but wonder how it would impact children's lives to intentionally teach them the building blocks of healthy leadership at a young age.
What a fascinating idea...you're so right that some of this is being taught (or at least learned) but I'm not sure it's being consciously positioned as tools for leadership.
I don't think it is unfortunately. But it should be something that we as a society should aspire to teach (perhaps leaning heavily into the empathy part of the equation).