Being a full-stack leader
Because I hate the term "soft skills"
Full-stack Leadership
I spent some time while on vacation pulling together all my notes about a book proposal I want to finally write. (Yes. I know. We can have a conversation about what a “vacation” is and whether this was appropriate vacation activity another time.) While synthesizing my notes, I found a post-it with the following note:
“Create a leadership stack to be able to articulate if you have the ‘talent stack’ or are a ‘full-stack leader.’”
Nothing to do with all my book proposal notes, and it was amongst notes that are several years old, so I’ve little hope of remembering where I was or why I wrote this down. But if I had to guess it was part of a regular conversation I have about how much I hate the term “soft skills.” I have suggested calling the traditional soft skills, “leadership skills” instead. But in fact that would leave some important aspects of leadership out of the mix, like actually knowing your shit, for one.
But let’s start with what are “soft skills” anyway?
The Oxford dictionary calls them “personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.“ OK. A little vague, but I get it.
The Muse defines it equally amorphously: “Soft skills are intangible attributes related to how you work. They’re the traits and qualities you possess that dictate how you’ll engage with others—also known as interpersonal skills—and how you’ll perform in the workplace.”
But all of this carries at least some implication that these skills are somehow innate to some, not to all. Can you learn to have a “quality?” Can you develop your “intangible attributes?”
I reject the term soft skills, because, like any skill, they can be developed, taught, tracked, and assessed. I reject the term soft skills because when contrasted with the hard skills…like technical and functional know-how…”soft” inevitably communicates “weak” or “easy.” I’m sure we all have plenty of experiences with super-smart people who nonetheless prove exactly how difficult it can be to nail the kinds of skills called “soft.”
But I also don’t think it’s a 1-to-1 relationship between “soft” and “leadership” skills…i.e. not every skill traditionally thought of as soft is required to fill your leadership toolkit, and there are skills traditionally considered “hard” that do belong in that kit.
I decided to craft a little leadership stack and populate it with five of the top skills I think great leaders develop and demonstrate:
Functional Expertise: This is first on my list. You have to know things. And you have to keep your knowledge fresh. This doesn’t always require formal educational attainment of that functional expertise. I spent years in tech becoming an expert in things I never went to school for. But I learned…from peers, from reading, from attending seminars, even from doing, and so on. You don’t have to know everything about every aspect of your area of ownership…but you should know enough to be helpful to any true specialist on your team.
Communication Skills: This can cover a lot of ground. You have to be able translate information for the audience in front of you, and that can look different based on who they are. To lead means communicating one-on-one and to groups. Being clear, being accurate, being dynamic, being motivational, being calming and trustworthy, being inspiring, bringing people together. Not all at once, all the time, but certainly leaders may be called upon to communicate all of the above.
Relational Skills: Building relationships between yourself and others and between others without you is critical to working in teams and pulling off big goals and big ideas. This isn’t just about the communication part; this is also about understanding what makes people tick individually, while also assessing inter-personal dynamics and figuring out what will help people vibe together. It’s not about manipulation; it’s about helping everyone be their best self, because you understand what best self lies within them!
Empathy/Listening: Relational skills are closely related to listening and empathy, but I call this out separately because leadership isn’t just about using your big brain to observe and analyze. The difference between being able to construct a well-oiled machine of a team, and building such a team that would GO TO THE END OF THE EARTH FOR YOU, THROUGH EVERY CRAZY PIVOT AND TWIST AND TURN…that difference is all about how each person feels seen and hears and valued by your words and actions….and sometimes your ability to be quiet and listen.
Ability to Synthesize: This isn’t just about expertise, it’s very specifically about being able to absorb many different inputs from many different people and many different part of a business and having the insight to extract the most important meaning, to prioritize the most important next steps, to see not only your Plan A pathway ahead, but have a few Plan Bs and Cs in your back pocket just in case. It’s the difference often between bing a great individual contributor and being a great manager. It’s also often where generalists outgun specialists.
Those are the first five items that came to me as being essential in a leadership stack. Nothing says the stack can’t be taller! What am I missing?
What else is going on?
Optionality
I shared our upcoming Optionality member webinar on March 28th about Caregiving: The Silent Energy Drain as the main story in the last This Week-ish newsletter, and registration is still open. I hope you’ll join us to hear from our speakers who have both expertise and lived experience to share, Karen Chong from AARP, Kim May from Caregiver Wisdom, and Liz O’Donnell from Working Daughter.
In addition, I’ve been creating a ton of content for Optionality, so I want to share some pieces here too:
We interviewed longtime mentor and colleague (and Optionality advisory committee member) Guy Kawasaki about his new book, Think Remarkable, for our podcast. While a Premium piece of content, I created a cool 4 minute preview audio clip for everyone to listen to. Guy is always a great interview. And the book is super actionable and avoids the big problem I have with most business books (namely, that have one or two big ideas and spend half the book just illustrating and re-illustrating those ideas).
My newsletter this week explores why a promo video about AI content at SXSW last week got booed big time at SXSW Film, and about the grain of truth I find in one particularly eye-rolling statement by an AI company exec.
Jory wrote this newsletter, but I think it’s a great discussion of what we are and what we’re actually not over at Optionality.
Another taste of what’s happening over in the Premium member community, we’ve formed our first (of eventually many) working groups…made up of a small group of members who feel like they’re GREAT at helping other people articulate their value and establish their personal positioning, but SUCK at doing it for themselves…but need to right now. (I raised my hand for this, #sorrynotsorry.) Working together those of us in the group will both contribute and benefit in true #allboatsrise, #giveandget spirit.
So, here’s the pitch: We’re planning to end our early adopter Premium Membership price soon, so if you’ve been toying with the idea of upgrading or subscribing for all the benefits of premium membership at the low low price of $299/year, now’s the time!!
The Op-Ed Page podcast
I was on vacation last week, so the most recent episode of The Op-Ed Page podcast is still Episode 103. If you missed it I hope you’ll take a listen because every week it seems like there’s another reason to contemplate what our obligations are to keep up and perform to spec on our end of a social contract that society itself has already broken. I still haven’t come up with a simple answer. Have you? As always, if you enjoy, I appreciate a share, subscribe, rating and review :)
That’s it for today. Until next time, please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on any or all of the above. This is basically my blog now! And as always, I appreciate a share of this newsletter or my podcast.
If I can help you break through the things that keep you stuck (or if you are intrigued by the idea of securing my fractional leadership for your initiative), set up your first introductory 30-minute consult for free by booking it in my Calendly. And you can always check out my new LinkedIn Learning Course, Telling Stories That Stick, a 57-minute course on crafting your stories for different audiences (media, investors, prospects, hiring managers) and ensuring those stories stick…and convey exactly what you hope to convey.
Thanks for reading!
-E
I never liked the term soft skills either because it implies that life skills are gendered and in this case female skills and so society lets men off the hook and says they can just ignore them…as if they are incapable.
Yes we socialize boys and men very differently than girls and women…slowly it is changing, year by year.
Regardless, men are perfectly capable of learning how to read other people, see and hear social cues, analyze social interactions, and respond.
If the employee (of any gender) is neurodiverse, it might take teaching them in a different way, but everyone is capable.
Whether we quietly take an employee aside and explain it, or we send them to a social communications class…employers should start by assuming competency and work from there.
That was an excellent overview of what is required of an effective leader. I wish they'd teach this in high school, or even younger! Imagine a world in which six year olds are learning the basics of this within their play?! Obviously that is when some kids are naturally figuring this stuff out, but I can't help but wonder how it would impact children's lives to intentionally teach them the building blocks of healthy leadership at a young age.