We are hurting each other

I'm talking to and about people I know, not randos on the Internet.

I recently commented on Threads that I saw people I know becoming ever more entrenched, in some cases radicalized, and definitely doing so in ways that are hurtful around the war in the Middle East. And at the risk of inflaming tensions, I wanted to give a couple of examples. Because how we’re speaking is most closely observed by our own circles. Where we are having the most effect is on our own friends and colleagues.

For disclosure purposes: I am a first-generation American, daughter of two immigrants, one of whom is a Holocaust survivor. So I am 1/2 Jewish, by ethnicity if not by religion. In fact, I am an atheist and would not personally rely on biblical verse to justify the rights or indigenousness of either Jewish people or Palestinian people. Like I literally don’t care who the “historical Jesus” was. (Although may I recommend Reza Aslan’s book Zealot as a fascinating exploration of that question? It’s so good.) Anyway, religion is not my jam, and I don’t think you need to rely on the Bible to say that both peoples are closely related and have long been in the region and have the right to exist and have self-determination.

Example #1: It is hurtful to see fellow American Jews who I have always known to be progressive/left/blue voters suddenly using language to make sweeping statements about people of another religion or ethnicity in a way they never have or would have before. And even if they are not saying such stuff themselves, I’ve mentioned before how I see people not moderating their online spaces and letting other people’s comments do the dirty work for them. Not only that, but I see them rushing into the ideological arms of right wing people and outlets. Sometimes to the point of echoing "anti-woke" language and other talking points...some of it not connected to antisemitism. As though they don't remember that a year ago we saw the American right as having the literal Nazi-aligned ethos that they do. We should never be so foolish as to believe the American right gives a shit about Jews, especially not Jews in this country. I see Jewish people I know echoing the American right wing, and I’m not sure they intend to do so, but I hope not. [I always remember how Dennis Miller…who I don’t know, to be clear…got radicalized after 9/11, changing his vibe, his positions, his language, and I feel like I’m seeing that happen to people I do know, and it’s upsetting.]

Example #2: It is also hurtful to see progressives use language, tropes, slogans, and more that have been known to be antisemitic long before the events of last October...all while sending the (sometimes literal) message to Jews that they do not get to decide and define what is antisemitic. Or to see them saying, again literally, that their intention is not antisemitic and that's more important than their impact. That is certainly a turnabout from what they say about other bigotry. They ignore that Jews, like every other minority group in this country, are among the most reliable progressive/left voters (some Jewish hawks and right wingers notwithstanding). And still most of those Jews absolutely believe in Israel’s right to exist. The fact is there are countless Jews in this country who don’t find progressivism and Zionism contradictory because they define Zionism differently than some progressives seem to. I see people I know on the left echoing terrorist groups and authoritarian countries (most of which have policies and philosophies that are akin to the most oppressive right wing of any group or religion here in the US), and I don’t think they necessarily intend to do that either, or at least I hope not.

As for the silence issue. Why might people you know be mostly staying quiet? Because all around us are impassioned proclamations about what’s happening, what happened, what must be true, and it’s hard to trust anything anyone says when there is so little nuance or acknowledgment of any perspective, pain, and lived experience from folks who may disagree. When things first started going down, everyone hastened to express their horror at what all people were experiencing, but now I mostly see what-about-ism from every corner. Like, I don’t know if the number is 30K or 10K dead non-combatants in Gaza, but it’s a big number, can we agree on that? Not something to dismiss. Can we agree that a baby being a hostage for 6 months is unimaginable? Can we agree (with hundreds of thousands of Israelis, BTW) that Netanyahu has to go and that Hamas is a terrorist org that eliminated its opposition and hasn’t held an election in the Gaza they have controlled for almost 17 years, so given the youth of its population, this is not a “government” the people voted for?

I don’t know if we can agree.

There is one guy I follow who seems to capture that nuance and need for collective solutions, and to do so he sometimes writes 55-post-long threads like this one:

Link: https://www.threads.net/@mohu/post/C6MOBZQRdxr

I recommend you follow him. Or at least read that thread.

Anyway, you may appreciate this or think I suck, but it’s easiest to imagine that everyone will think the latter because this all sounds namby-pamby, bet-hedging, and lily-livered. but that’s how I actually feel. And because impact really does still matter than intention, I hope I do not add to your personal pain with these thoughts. I apologize if I do. Feel free to let me know.

I will leave it at that for this issue of This Week-ish. 😬