The thing that bugged me the most was how frequently black performers were given comedy that was self effacing. I get it that self deprecation is a standard tool in comedy, but Wanda Sykes (I'm a poor and uneducated black lady routine) visit to the Academy Museum was uncomfortable to watch, and then Regina Hall doing that awkward skit with the men, then Tiffany Haddish doing the dumb black person thing... it just seemed like these intelligent women were given less than funny stuff and playing out these old stereotypes... just seemed not only not funny, but demeaning.
And the whole Regina Hall groping the guys thing in this time of Me Too was just wrong. If a man did the same act he would be roasted. It just sent a weird double standard message.
And Will Smith... I still don't get that. It just didn't make sense. I actually spent a week in their home in the 90s doing some artwork on their walls and Will and Jada were lovely, normal people. I have met a lot of celebrities over the last few decades. I have a great BS detector. They were really nice people. Obviously we are all complex beings with our own sets of issues and triggers, but I can't help think that there is a lot more to the story than what we saw. Not that it makes it right - it was unequivocally a bad decision. I can't help but think of the distorted reality that would evolve over decades of attending these events. He has been going to this probably since he was a teen... it becomes this yearly office party where he is on the stage nearly every year, and again, here he is in the front... probably with a few drinks in him... a guy makes a crack about his wife (who seems a teensy bit wound up) and being someone who as an actor plays the tough guy on camera all the time, and at what is ostensibly a family gathering for him, he jumps into a role that he has played on camera many times. It is almost like he slipped from reality for a moment. He was playing a part. I don't know. It doesn't make the choice right. But I am pretty confident that he is not some secret abusive husband at home. He is a pretty chill guy and Jada is not a victim. The story is more complicated than what we saw. And frankly there are more important issues going on in the world. They'll sort it out.
I am sad that it upstaged the extraordinary aspects of the evening.
Yes, I found all the bits of the emcees uncomfortable. On top of your examples, Amy Schumer mocking her own body is just weird, not funny, and only contributes to our skewed perspectives, given how small she is.
As for Will, I hope I was clear that I have no idea who he really is and wasn't trying to accuse him of anything, and to your point we really don't know the whole story of any part of that, but in that moment, no matter who HE is, he rang a bell for a lot of people in a very specific way.
And yes, a lot of great work got upstaged. It reminded me of the whole La La Land/Moonlight fiasco, where Moonlight missed their great moment. Only this time it is like everyone is missing a bit of their moment.
Totally agree. I suppose I am just always trying to figure out why folks do what they do... as in if we understood the actions of others better, it might be possible to understand ourselves better.
Have you read or listened to Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking yo Strangers? It’s all about how we often talk at cross purposes because our individual contexts are not universal by any stretch.
Looks like a worthwhile book. The best part of getting older is getting better at removing my own stories from how I experience those around me. It is so easy to project and forget to listen.
Oh yeah. Horrible on all counts. Worse because all the protagonists are black and we were only a year or so away from "OscarsSoWhite". Worse because it buried the achievements of the deaf community, and of Jane Campion. But worst because...squirrel! So much happening and THIS is what we choose to focus on?
Seriously. But I think that's partly my point...this isn't about this one incident. This is about toxic masculinity, and disrespect of Black women, and the constant debate about where is the line or is there even a line?, and about the way it seems like an entire country (ours) is right on the edge of disaster all the time, even in the most innocuous of situations.
The thing that bugged me the most was how frequently black performers were given comedy that was self effacing. I get it that self deprecation is a standard tool in comedy, but Wanda Sykes (I'm a poor and uneducated black lady routine) visit to the Academy Museum was uncomfortable to watch, and then Regina Hall doing that awkward skit with the men, then Tiffany Haddish doing the dumb black person thing... it just seemed like these intelligent women were given less than funny stuff and playing out these old stereotypes... just seemed not only not funny, but demeaning.
And the whole Regina Hall groping the guys thing in this time of Me Too was just wrong. If a man did the same act he would be roasted. It just sent a weird double standard message.
And Will Smith... I still don't get that. It just didn't make sense. I actually spent a week in their home in the 90s doing some artwork on their walls and Will and Jada were lovely, normal people. I have met a lot of celebrities over the last few decades. I have a great BS detector. They were really nice people. Obviously we are all complex beings with our own sets of issues and triggers, but I can't help think that there is a lot more to the story than what we saw. Not that it makes it right - it was unequivocally a bad decision. I can't help but think of the distorted reality that would evolve over decades of attending these events. He has been going to this probably since he was a teen... it becomes this yearly office party where he is on the stage nearly every year, and again, here he is in the front... probably with a few drinks in him... a guy makes a crack about his wife (who seems a teensy bit wound up) and being someone who as an actor plays the tough guy on camera all the time, and at what is ostensibly a family gathering for him, he jumps into a role that he has played on camera many times. It is almost like he slipped from reality for a moment. He was playing a part. I don't know. It doesn't make the choice right. But I am pretty confident that he is not some secret abusive husband at home. He is a pretty chill guy and Jada is not a victim. The story is more complicated than what we saw. And frankly there are more important issues going on in the world. They'll sort it out.
I am sad that it upstaged the extraordinary aspects of the evening.
Yes, I found all the bits of the emcees uncomfortable. On top of your examples, Amy Schumer mocking her own body is just weird, not funny, and only contributes to our skewed perspectives, given how small she is.
As for Will, I hope I was clear that I have no idea who he really is and wasn't trying to accuse him of anything, and to your point we really don't know the whole story of any part of that, but in that moment, no matter who HE is, he rang a bell for a lot of people in a very specific way.
And yes, a lot of great work got upstaged. It reminded me of the whole La La Land/Moonlight fiasco, where Moonlight missed their great moment. Only this time it is like everyone is missing a bit of their moment.
Totally agree. I suppose I am just always trying to figure out why folks do what they do... as in if we understood the actions of others better, it might be possible to understand ourselves better.
Have you read or listened to Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking yo Strangers? It’s all about how we often talk at cross purposes because our individual contexts are not universal by any stretch.
Talking TO Strangers.
Looks like a worthwhile book. The best part of getting older is getting better at removing my own stories from how I experience those around me. It is so easy to project and forget to listen.
#truth
Thanks for writing this.
Thanks for reading it :)
Best take on this year's Oscars telecast I've seen so far.
Whoa, thanks Donna. Those are big words considering the sheer volume of takes :)
Oh yeah. Horrible on all counts. Worse because all the protagonists are black and we were only a year or so away from "OscarsSoWhite". Worse because it buried the achievements of the deaf community, and of Jane Campion. But worst because...squirrel! So much happening and THIS is what we choose to focus on?
Seriously. But I think that's partly my point...this isn't about this one incident. This is about toxic masculinity, and disrespect of Black women, and the constant debate about where is the line or is there even a line?, and about the way it seems like an entire country (ours) is right on the edge of disaster all the time, even in the most innocuous of situations.