What else? Abortion. Again.

Welcome to the new second class citizenhood, same as the old second class citizenhood

Jun 27, 2022

A childfree-by-choice perspective on abortion.

I'm going to cross-post this stream of consciousness to LinkedIn, talking about two things people may not usually find, and may not expect to find there: Menopause and abortion.

The day last week that the Roe v. Wade obliteration was announced happened to be the 365th day since my last period ended, which meant I had officially hit that single day that is "menopause." (Everything before that day, as your body's hormones start to change until that single day, is called perimenopause, and everything after that single day is called post-menopause.)

I was 9 years old when Roe was initially decided, several years before the onset of my period and therefore my potential for getting pregnant.

I spent the entirety of my reproductive years knowing I could have an abortion if I chose to.

I was on some form of birth control for decades, many thanks to Planned Parenthood for those years between having a college health clinic and a job that provided benefits.

I had only a couple of instances when I had that scary experience of bringing home a pregnancy test. Both times, thankfully, I was not pregnant.

Here's the part where I tell you that I'm child-free by choice. I simply never ever wanted children. And despite the many who assumed I would change my mind as some mythological "clock" started ticking, I never ever changed my mind. The reasons are unimportant; the important part is that I simply knew from adolescence that I did not intend to become a parent.

I took reasonable efforts to avoid becoming pregnant, and luckily for me, they always worked as well as I needed them to.

Not everyone is so lucky.

It is infuriating and outrageous to me that anyone, ANYONE, would have the right to make me do something so impactful, so risky, so permanent, so costly, so filled with uncertainty, as going through a pregnancy and birth. No person should have the right. No doctor should have the right. And surely SURELY no government should have the right.

In addition to being child-free by choice, I do not identify with a religion.

I’m Jewish by heritage on one side of my family…which mostly matters because when half your family gets nearly wiped out on account of that religion, you can’t help but feel connected to it. You can’t help but feel like if that happened again, you would not be safe (which I do feel).

But I was raised with no religion. Which is entirely different from whether I was raised with values and ethics. Which I was. I was also raised to believe it shouldn’t matter if I had no religion…that the U.S. was the place for me because I would not be governed by a faith practice in which I not only didn’t believe but in many cases actively disagreed with.

I don’t think we can say that anymore.

We are increasingly living in a tyranny of a minority. A minority that purports to be driven by a particular set of religious values, although I think they are much more driven by greed, bigotry, and the desperate desire to establish and maintain dominion over anyone who doesn’t fall within an increasingly narrow demographic and psychographic cohort.

These so-called “originalists” have said all the quiet part out loud: The constitution was written by white landowning men. And it was written FOR white landowning men. And that is extremely fine with these guys (and in some cases the white women by their sides who benefit from it.)

Even though I can no longer get pregnant, I care about this issue because I live in a society, and I care about what’s good for society. I have escaped one form of oppression by virtue of my aged-out reproductive system.

But the forces of oppression are not done with us yet.

The battle ahead can take many forms:

Continue to urge your representatives in Washington and your President to fight to codify abortion rights. If you agree with ending the filibuster to make it happen, make sure they know that. If you agree with expanding the Court, let them know that too.
This fight is now in every state. My state is part of the new “West Coast Offense,” pledging to be a safe haven for abortion-seekers from other states. (This isn’t an ideal forever solution…this is going to push out schedules and lead to service delays and provider overwork, not to mention the costs involved.) If you do not live in one of the few states that can reliably be called a safe haven, take this fight to your state legislatures and governor’s races. The states are so important re: abortion, voting rights, election integrity, and more. Apparently, everything but gun safety, THAT the SCOTUS doesn’t believe can be left to the states.
If you run a company, think about announcing your abortion healthcare policy. Check out Don’t Ban Equality for a specific pledge to sign on to. I would love if more companies specifically denounced the ruling, and pledged to no longer donate to forced birth candidates or their PACs, not just altered their healthcare benefits.
Many activists will tell you not to donate to national repro rights orgs. I won’t go that far. I still give to the Center for Reproductive Rights, because they’re the ones leading the battles in courts worldwide, and I give to my local Planned Parenthood because they deliver services in my area. That being said, giving to and supporting abortion funds is absolutely where this battle has to go. These are the organizations that help women find and fund their abortions. You might want to look up the states that have already banned or are soon to ban abortion and use the above link to support funds in those states.
Be loud. be proud of your stance. The vast majority of Americans are with you.
Make sure people know abortion can be illegal but SAFE. The majority of abortions in the US today are medical (vs. surgical) abortions, and they mostly happens at home. Do not terrify women who are already probably incredibly freaked out. Help them get access to the pills they need to very safely end their pregnancy. abortionpillinfo.org and plancpills.org are great resources.
This document by activist Alison Turkos continues to be an incredible one-stop-shop for information and resources about all of the above. here are a couple of other resource guides, from the L.A. Women’s Collective and one specifically focused on abortion+business/the economy from Stylehouse.
Jamia Wilson, Carolyn Gerin, and I said it in our book: Protecting your privacy online and off in this surveillance state is a radical act. We have an entire chapter on how to do so, and not too many activism books can say that. If any. (All thanks to Carolyn, who has had family in the spy business, so it’s ver top of mind for her.) Think very hard about where you’re saying what and how it can be used against you. memes about taking friends “camping” are cute, but also indicate intent. Protect yourself so you can continue to protect others.
Finally, many of my friends are incensed that this decision was preceded and followed by my fundraising requests from political candidates and every brand of the Democratic party. I have a different view on this. It is absolutely a reality that marching serves a purpose, changing how you spend money or how your company does things serves a purpose, donating serves a purpose, being loud and proud serves a purpose (and our book talked about ALL these avenues to being an activist or advocate). But without votes, it severely limits what can be done that will help more people across the board. We need Democratic Governors and state legislatures in order to have more states that will join with my own and the other West Coast states to provide safe havens. We need a better majority in the Senate, because Joe Manchin, yes that OFG (one fucking guy) is a KNOWN entity who will not do any of the more significant infrastructure changes we need to do to protect more Americans. We need to protect our House majority and improve our Senate majority because if you can’t guess what’s coming next in a GOP-majority Congress, you are really being naive. I don’t care if you don’t like everything the Dems do. I don’t care if you think they’re somehow weak on messaging or won’t take the gloves off or are too busy fighting fair. They are the only ones fighting for both our democracy and our bodily autonomy, maybe not perfectly, but AT ALL. So I am not bothered by any attempts to help them win. Please help them win. Focus on the lowest hanging fruit, not pie in the sky.

I feel like a broken record, but in a time when I’m both utterly exhausted by this constant war on the 75% and filled with corrosive rage (Ann Friedman so eloquently calls it “shrugging with rage”) WHAT ELSE SHALL I DO??????

No, literally, what else do you all recommend folks like us do? Leave a comment and tell me what else:

Last week-ish

The Op-Ed Page podcast episode 80 was published before the ruling was handed down, but nonetheless was talking about the Democrats, messaging, and the importance of voting. (The recent primaries in my county had the lowest voter turnout in ages, especially amongst the youth…it’s depressing for sure.) The only bright spot is that there might be bi-partisan agreement on at least some gun safety regulations, and some are better than the none we’ve had for the past 10 years since Sandy Hook. Check it out.

Listen now

Coming this week-ish

I honestly cannot see myself doing anything to celebrate Independence (for white landowning men) Day this year. But if I do I’m going to wear white, the color of suffrage, per the idea of my friend Miriam. Check it out.

In the meantime, please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on any or all of the above. This is basically my blog now! And as always I appreciate a share of this newsletter or my podcast.

This Week-ish with ElisaCP

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